Musings

I often feel as if I’m on vacation, I suppose because for the most part my day-to-day looks like I’m on vacation. At a campground where everyone is on vacation, visiting a museum, where some people are on vacation, riding my bike on a bike trail listed in a brochure from the visitor’s center. And then there’s the rolling out of bed whenever I feel moved to do so. It sure sounds like vacation.

The thing is, I don’t mean for it to be a vacation. And the fact that I don’t is worth investigatin’ a little, isn’t it?

The first thing that comes to mind is that vacations are often exhausting…one fun experience after another, a daily agenda designed to fill your brain or you senses, to tire your muscles, to entice you to let loose your money. All fun things to do. Also, tiring.

Then there’s the WORK ETHIC vs LEISURE TIME battle loiteringing passively in the background of my mind. Recently I wrote an essay as part of my UnMute Yourself workshop; the prompt was “If I wasn’t a __________ I would be a ___________. If I wasn’t an activist I would be a cat. It was a fun write, with the key point being that I don’t feel being an activist is a choice…I feel compelled. Happily compelled, but compelled nonetheless. If I didn’t heed the call, I’d be like a cat…lounging around, not caring much about anything except laying in the stream of sunlight beaming through the window. I can’t imagine the in-between.

I’ve responded to the call of productivity a little bit – signed in support or opposition to a variety of bills, participated in several rallies, and attended an Eyes on ICE webinar to make sure I know how to safely document bad actors in authority. But it’s just the case that I’m on vacation from dedicated activism and frankly, the timing isn’t great. This is a time when we need everybody in. The possibility of returning home a little early has been on my mind and I’m keeping my options open.

As time marches on I’m also thinking more about my next job. I saw a fantastic Communications Advisor job with the city of Seattle, started working on the application materials, and then discovered it had closed before I was ready to submit. That’s a bummer, but it felt great to be so excited about a specific job…that hasn’t been the case with other postings I’ve seen.

I need to wrap up my musings here but I’m coming up with nothing. Maybe that’s a metaphor for my adventure…it’s an open road and it’s not time quite yet for a conclusion.